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Beneath It All – The Good Men Project


No man wants to admit they feel weak. It’s not part of the rules.

A man’s pride is precious and to dent a man’s pride is like taking a blade to their gut. It hurts.

When feelings of weakness, worthlessness and pain do appear it becomes a natural reaction to pump the chest out and show the world the opposite. It’s easy to do this but impossible to feel happiness when battling sadness at a deeper level. You can’t hate and love at the same moment in time.

We all have the capabilities to feel every emotion and action whether it be love, kindness and empathy or hate, jealousy and anger and we will experience all of them during the our time on this planet.

As a society we are perhaps hypocritical. We encourage men to be vulnerable, open and honest but punish them for doing so. In reality, the weak men are weeded out and in high powered jobs there is very little room for weakness and this can be rewarded with large salaries and status.

Weak men will often be left behind by the stronger select and categorised or labelled.

Women are attracted to strong men and this can alter a man’s behaviour but a man’s definition of what is strong is open for discussion. Strength can be shown in many ways. But nobody’s definition of strong is as important as your own and no book you read will be as valuable as your own journal.

Strong is something that I would consider to be formed by two complete opposites, like the North and South Pole. To be strong you must go it alone, you must learn how to fight when you are on the ropes, deal with your own issues and develop a tough mindset. To be strong you must form loving relationships, learn how to let your guard down, ask for help and develop an open and non judgemental mindset. Both are essential and both require strength.

The issue is letting others decide what strong means to you. I have my version of strong and so do you. It is situations like this where you must develop your own approach, where you let no man tell you what strong is. His, her or their opinion is invalid. You can respect their opinion, but you certainly do not have to live by it. This rule applies to your parents, wife or girlfriend and closest friends. The only person who has to live in your head is you.

When you are clear about the way you want to live your life you will find you form a group of like minded individuals who become your family. This may be a smaller crew than you are accustomed to, but like a glove it will fit perfectly. You have the right to remove those who do not fit with your values. Do not feel guilty for this. Life is short.

Strength is showing courage and showing weakness. Strength is asking for help and going it alone. Strength is being your own man. Strength comes from within.

This post was previously published on www.mansplan.co.uk and is republished here with permission from the author.

What’s your take? Comment below or write a response and submit to us your own point of view or reaction here at the red box, below, which links to our submissions portal.

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