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Can Rebound Relationships Work? – The Good Men Project

What’s a Rebound Relationship?

A rebound relationship is one that happens right after you break up with someone. After you end a relationship, you need time to heal. But perhaps you meet somebody else and develop feelings for them. It’s common after you break up with someone to want to be loved by another person. You miss the feeling of being in a relationship but you don’t want to be with your ex. Some people jump right into a new relationship because it feels natural to them. That is considered a rebound relationship. If you think about it, most relationships are technically rebounds because you were with somebody else before the person that you’re dating now. Sometimes a rebound relationship can work and other times it’s a recipe for disaster. How do you know if a rebound relationship is viable?

Are you trying to make your ex jealous?

There are times that people jump into a rebound relationship to make their ex jealous. Though it can feel good at the time, it’s not a reason to explore a new romantic connection. You’re doing yourself a disservice by jumping into a new relationship when you’re not over your ex. You are bringing in old emotional baggage to your new relationship. You’re also using the latest person to make your ex jealous, which is not a good look. If you want to be in a romantic relationship, it should be because you care deeply for the person you’re with, and not because you’re trying to make somebody else envious. We want to find love, and that’s why we seek out romantic connections. Using someone to make your ex jealous isn’t a reflection of love. You’re going to end up feeling unfulfilled in the end.

Ask yourself if you are over your ex?

After you break up with somebody, you want to move on naturally. But there is a grieving process directly after a breakup. It would be great if you could snap your fingers and be over your ex, but that’s not how it works. Give yourself some time to start dating again. Before you pursue a new relationship, ask yourself this question: “am I over my ex?” If the answer is “no,” or “I don’t know,” it’s not advisable to get into a new relationship. It’s essential to go through the grieving and remorse that comes with the ending of your last relationship. You want to give your positive energy when forming a new bond with somebody rather than providing this new person an old version of yourself.

Sometimes a rebound becomes a long-term relationship

People judge rebound relationships as not being long-term. It may start out as a fling, but go on to develop into a full-fledged long-term relationship. Are we ever over our exes? Sometimes you jump into a new relationship and in the beginning, you’re still getting over your ex. Slowly as the new relationship progresses you find yourself moving on. That can happen in a rebound relationship but it takes effort. You need to be aware of your emotions, and honest with yourself about what you’re feeling. Maybe that means talking to your friends about your ex and allowing yourself the opportunity to heal. Don’t be dishonest with yourself and forget your ex existed and repress those memories. If you’re able to get through the healing process while you’re in a great new relationship, that’s great. Then you can move on with your new love interest.

How do I make a rebound relationship work?

One way to make a rebound relationship work is don’t compare it to your old relationship. It’s a new connection, and you’re finding out who this person is. Another thing is don’t talk about your ex to your new partner. If you want to discuss why are you broke up that’s okay, but don’t have long-winded conversations about your previous relationship; focus on right now. You can talk about your ex in therapy and process those feelings there. It’s not helpful to ruminate on your previous relationship while in a new one. A rebound relationship can develop into a healthy connection if you continue to foster and grow together.

Couples counseling

If you’re having trouble in your relationship and you want to work through these issues with your partner, there’s no harm in seeking therapy. Couples counseling can help people who are in romantic relationships discuss problems and figure out what needs to change in the dynamic. Maybe your relationship can go from rebound to long-term. A couples counselor supports you in figuring out what’s going on with you and your partner. Don’t be afraid to seek help for your relationship, whether it’s online or in your local area.

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